Match report – Canterbury Pilgrims
Old Colfeians produced a free-scoring, defence optional masterpiece in their 57–41
loss to Canterbury Pilgrims, a game so open it looked more like a charity fun run
than a rugby match. Freddie Holland-Oliver’s grand return to his old stomping ground
was less a hero’s homecoming and more public humiliation as the Pilgrims treated
him like a speedbump with Bateson screaming “stay on your [ahem] feet Fred”. The
Colfes teachers rocked up whenever they fancied, some missing so much of the
match they may still believe we won, while Reigan was found crying in the corner
after a pretty bog standard tackle
Meanwhile, Vic decided the team bus simply wasn’t worthy of a man who’d just
acquired a Nissan Micra, choosing instead to unleash its terrifying power on the A2.
He arrived early, smug, and probably still buzzing from hitting a blistering 68mph
downhill. Despite all the chaos, the boys did score 41 points, which is impressive
considering no one appeared to know what “tackle” meant, but ultimately the
Pilgrims ran away with the win, mostly because no one felt inclined to stop them.
